Week 15 Semifinals

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CHAMPIONSHIP BRACKET

Playoffs: Wizard of Roz Gets Late Victory over Crows Before Hoes

Crows Before Hoes 111.9 vs Wizard of Roz 136.8

You might as well call Wizard of Roz the “Comeback Kids” after overcoming a 7.80-point differential on Monday night to defeat Crows Before Hoes, 136.80 to 111.90. Wizard of Roz was led by 30.60 points from Matthew Stafford and 28.80 from Julio Jones. Someone check the temperature of Wizard of Roz. They’ve been on fire, winning their last four matchups in a row. This upset was sweeter than most, serving as revenge for a Week 6 175.80 to 126.85 loss to Crows Before Hoes. Crows Before Hoes finished the regular season in second place with a record of 10-3. They also ranked second in the league with 137.40 points per game. Crows Before Hoes was sent home quickly this postseason, losing in their only playoff matchup.

Smooth Moves by Wizard of Roz

  • With 21.00 points, the Kansas City Chiefs Defense was the top-scoring DEF of the week.
  • Was smart to sit the Arizona Cardinals Defense this week, which had 16.00 points, the lowest DEF score on the team.
  • The 28.80 points scored by Julio Jones was the eighth-highest score by a WR in the league this week.
  • With 20.40 points, Delanie Walker had the third-highest score of any TE in the league this week.
  • Wizard of Roz had most of their starters beat their scoring projection (5 out of 9).

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Dry your tears, study more articles and forget that your 136.80 to 111.90 loss ever happened.
  • Picked up Kirk Cousins but left him on the bench, where he scored the third-most points in the league and beat his projected point total by 156.9%, the eighth-highest percentage in the league.
  • Brandon Bolden, who Crows Before Hoes picked up this week, scored below his 9.64-point projection with 7.40 points.
  • 7 of the starters on Crows Before Hoes underperformed versus their projections.
  • Who needs offense when the defense is so dominant!? Crows Before Hoes got outscored 21.00 – 6.00 by Wizard of Roz at the DEF position.

What If

  • If Wizard of Roz played Crows Before Hoes every week, they’d be 8-6 this year.
  • Besides Crows Before Hoes, Wizard of Roz would have defeated five other teams this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Crows Before Hoes, Wizard of Roz would be 7-5.
  • Wizard of Roz would be 100-61 if they played every team every week.
  • Besides Wizard of Roz, Crows Before Hoes would have been defeated by eight other teams this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Wizard of Roz, Crows Before Hoes would be 8-4.
  • Crows Before Hoes would be 95-59 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Maybe the league is colluding against them. All four of the losses for Crows Before Hoes this season have come when their opponent scores higher than their season average.
  • Wizard of Roz is on the longest active win streak in the league, winning four straight games.
  • At 24.90 points, the margin of victory was the tightest of the week.
  • Crows Before Hoes saw their three-game win streak come to an end.
  • Two of the starters for Wizard of Roz scored higher than the leading scorer for Crows Before Hoes.
  • Although Wizard of Roz won, it was no thanks to Doug Martin, who scored 10.70 points and has now scored below his projection in four straight weeks.
  • With the win, Wizard of Roz improves to 1-1 in comeback games this season.
  • With the loss, Crows Before Hoes falls to 2-1 in comeback games this season.

Playoffs: T.D. Parker Beats DiRoc

DiRock 126.55 vs T.D. Parker 171.10

T.D. Parker saved their best for when it mattered most, putting up the eighth-highest point total in the league to date to get the win over DiRoc, 169.80 to 126.55. T.D. Parker goes to 2-1 head-to-head this season against DiRoc, avenging a Week 13 loss (207.50 to 148.55) the last time the teams met. DiRoc ended the regular season in fourth place with a record of 7-6. With a scoring average of 134.20, they also placed fourth in the league in that metric. In their only other postseason game of the season, DiRoc nipped Valar Funghulis, 136.90 to 131.00.

Smooth Moves by T.D. Parker

  • Cam Newton scored 59.00 points, the highest of any player on T.D. Parker this season.
  • Look, there in the sky. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s just Kamar Aiken posterizing opponents. He had the eighth-highest score of any WR in the league this week with 28.80 points.
  • 6 of 9 players in the starting lineup for T.D. Parker topped their projected points.
  • By scoring 13.00 points, Steven Hauschka beat his 8.11 projected points by 60.3%.
  • Both of the starting TEs scored above their projected points.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Tough week, DiRoc. We can only assume that all your starters were on bye this week.
  • Whoever gave you this advice, you might want to lose their number. Picked up and started Heath Miller, who then scored below his 10.97-point projection with 4.20 points.
  • It was a bad week at RB for DiRoc, who was outscored at the position 20.10 – 5.00 by T.D. Parker.
  • Javorius Allen was last on the team in scoring with -0.20 points against a projected 15.44 and underachieved for the second time this season.
  • The 4.70 points scored by A.J. Green was a season-low for both scoring and for his performance against projections. He reached only 29.5% of his 15.94 projected points this week.

What If

  • If T.D. Parker played DiRoc every week, they’d be 8-6 this year.
  • T.D. Parker would’ve been undefeated if they played every team in the league this week.
  • T.D. Parker would be 7-4 if they played the same schedule as DiRoc.
  • If T.D. Parker had played every team in the league each week, they would be 107-47.
  • Besides T.D. Parker, DiRoc would have been defeated by six other teams this week.
  • DiRoc would be 8-3 if they played the same schedule as T.D. Parker.
  • If they played every team every week, DiRoc would be 89-72.

Game Notes

  • Four of the seven losses for DiRoc this season have come when their opponent had their highest-scoring week of the season.
  • Did DiRoc pay admission to see the greatest show on turf? T.D. Parker had a league-high for the week with 169.80 points, which is the eighth-highest score in the league this season.
  • T.D. Parker scored 169.80 points against a projected 138.84 and beat their scoring projection for the 11th time this season, including the last seven weeks in a row.
  • What good are running backs if they are running backwards instead of forwards? The 20.10 total points by the RBs on T.D. Parker was their smallest RB output this season.
  • DiRoc saw their four-game win streak come to an end.
  • T.D. Parker got 74.6% of their points from players they drafted.
  • T.D. Parker overachieved and improves to 10-1 when doing so, while DiRoc fell short of their projection. They are now 3-5 when scoring less than expected.
  • With a margin of victory of 43.25 points, T.D. Parker had the third-highest margin in the league this week.

CONSOLATION BRACKET

Consolation: Valar Funghulis Lights Up Tyrion’s Tyrants

Valar Funghulis 158.95 vs Tyrion’s Tyrants 86.1

Valar Funghulis benefited from 27.70 points from Mike Evans and 25.35 from Tom Brady, pummeling Tyrion’s Tyrants, 158.95 to 86.10. The playoff victory was memorable, with the 72.85-point margin of victory being the third-highest recorded in the league this season. This is a repeat performance for Valar Funghulis over Tyrion’s Tyrants, after a 171.80 to 124.10 win in Week 3. Adding insult to injury, Tyrion’s Tyrants had a starter score zero points (Cecil Shorts III).

Smooth Moves by Valar Funghulis

  • Mike Evans scored 27.70 points, the 10th-highest WR score in the league this week.
  • With 23.10 points, Devonta Freeman ranked third in scoring among all RBs in the league this week.
  • Zach Ertz had the second-highest TE score in the league this week with 21.80 points.
  • The 19.00 points scored by the New England Patriots Defense were a season-high.
  • This is the bar, and this is the team jumping over it. Valar Funghulis had 5 of their 9 starters exceed their projected points.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • The good news is, at least we know you’re trying. The bad news is, you don’t seem to be any good at trying.
  • Did not start Teddy Bridgewater, who ranked fifth in the league in scoring and beat his scoring projection by 181.9%, the fifth-highest percentage in the league.
  • Marcus Mariota was last in the matchup in scoring with a season-low -0.40 points.
  • Tyrion’s Tyrants had 7 starters fail to reach their projections.
  • A heated blanket would be a great gift for Giovani Bernard during this cold streak. He scored below his projection in four straight games after scoring 9.10 points against a projected 12.23 this week.

What If

  • Valar Funghulis would be 10-5 if they played Tyrion’s Tyrants every week.
  • Valar Funghulis would have beaten nine other teams besides Tyrion’s Tyrants this week.
  • Were they resting their players for this week? Valar Funghulis would have defeated Tyrion’s Tyrants 131.00 – 114.70 had they played each other last week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Tyrion’s Tyrants, Valar Funghulis would be 10-3.
  • If Valar Funghulis had played every team in the league each week, they would be 90-71.
  • Besides Valar Funghulis, Tyrion’s Tyrants would have been defeated by nine other teams this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Valar Funghulis, Tyrion’s Tyrants would be 5-8.
  • Tyrion’s Tyrants would be 57-104 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Looks like teams bring their A game when they see them on the schedule. Of the losses Tyrion’s Tyrants has had, three were against opponents who topped their season scoring average that week.
  • It was the third-biggest margin of victory in the league this season at 72.85 points.
  • The manager of Valar Funghulis was probably the person who destroyed the curve on every test in school. They scored 158.95 points against a projected 134.99 and beat their scoring projection for the ninth time this season, including the last three weeks in a row.
  • Tyrion’s Tyrants has the longest current losing streak in the league, having lost three straight games.
  • Justin Tucker scored a season-low 2.00 points and underachieved for the third straight week.
  • Valar Funghulis won in a blowout. They are now 1-1 in blowouts matchups this season.
  • Tyrion’s Tyrants got beat so bad, their own mother doesn’t recognize them. It was the worst loss of the season for them, with the margin of victory coming in at 72.85 points.
  • Tyrion’s Tyrants lost in a blowout. They are now 2-2 in blowout matchups this year.

Consolation: Mother of Dragons Gets Win Against The Bronx Zoo

Mother of Dragons 158.55 vs The Bronx Zoo 131.3

Mother of Dragons picked up 36.00 points from Danny Woodhead and 34.65 from Eli Manning to beat The Bronx Zoo 158.55 to 131.30. This makes it two in a row for Mother of Dragons against The Bronx Zoo. Their last matchup was a 123.35 to 84.40 shellacking in Week 5. To make matters worse, The Bronx Zoo got zero points from Mark Ingram. The Bronx Zoo ended the regular season in eighth place with a record of 6-7. In terms of scoring average, they ranked slightly better (seventh with 124.56). The Bronx Zoo has gone fishin’ early, losing in their first postseason contest.

Smooth Moves by Mother of Dragons

  • Danny Woodhead didn’t have the best score of the week, but there ain’t no shame in his game. He had 36.00 points, the second-highest RB score of the week and the 10th-highest RB score in the league this season.
  • See what happens when you keep the laces out? Stephen Gostkowski scored 17.00 points, the highest K score in the league this week.
  • The 23.10 points by Demaryius Thomas topped a projected 14.63, extending his overachievement streak to three weeks.
  • Those were the projections? We thought that was the starting point. 5 of the 9 starters on Mother of Dragons exceeded their projected points.
  • The 34.65 points scored by Eli Manning outpaced his 24.10-point scoring projection by 43.8%.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Tough week, The Bronx Zoo. We can only assume that all your starters were on bye this week.
  • The Bronx Zoo lost despite having only 1 of their 9 starters score less than their projected points.
  • Left Mark Ingram in the starting lineup, where he didn’t score any points.
  • Carson Palmer, who had the highest projected points in the matchup with 29.09, only scored 19.70 points.
  • The Bronx Zoo lost even though both of their WRs scored above their projected points.

What If

  • Mother of Dragons would be 5-9 if they played The Bronx Zoo every week.
  • Besides The Bronx Zoo, Mother of Dragons would have defeated eight other teams this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as The Bronx Zoo, Mother of Dragons would be 4-8.
  • If Mother of Dragons had played every team in the league each week, they would be 67-94.
  • The Bronx Zoo would have lost to five other teams besides Mother of Dragons this week.
  • The Bronx Zoo would be 5-7 if they played the same schedule as Mother of Dragons.
  • If they played every team every week, The Bronx Zoo would be 73-81.

Game Notes

  • The Bronx Zoo has lost eight times and five of them have come to teams who beat their scoring average in that matchup.
  • A silver lining in the loss: The Bronx Zoo had their highest losing score of the season with 131.30 points.
  • The loss is the third straight for The Bronx Zoo and extends the longest current losing streak in the league.
  • Mother of Dragons was able to cover the 15.47-point spread in the win.
  • The 48.10 points by the WRs on The Bronx Zoo was the season-high for combined points from the position.
  • Mother of Dragons beat The Bronx Zoo at the top, with two of their starters outscoring the leading point-getter for The Bronx Zoo.
  • Mother of Dragons is leveraging their draft well. This week they got 96.8% of their points from players they drafted.
  • Mother of Dragons had the third-highest score in the league this week with 158.55 points.

Consolation: HODOR! Gets Upset Against HITMEN

HODOR! 146.55 vs HITMEN 116.65

HODOR! overcame an 18.01-point projected spread to beat HITMEN 146.55 to 116.65 for the upset. They took advantage of a team-leading 47.90 points from David Johnson and 22.40 from Matt Forte. Someone check the temperature of HODOR!. They’ve been on fire, winning their last three matchups in a row. This upset avenges a 135.25 to 108.65 loss to HITMEN back in Week 3. The margin could have been bigger, HODOR! had a starter score zero points (LeGarrette Blount). HITMEN must have some good karma from a previous season or event. They finished the regular season in seventh place with a record of 7-6, despite ranking just 10th in the league in scoring at 117.38 points per game. HITMEN was bounced early this postseason, losing in their only playoff matchup.

Smooth Moves by HODOR!

  • If this was college, David Johnson would expect to get a sleeve of helmet stickers. He ranked fourth in the league in scoring this week with 47.90 points. It was also the second-highest score of any player on HODOR! this season.
  • There are rumors that the military wants to model a new all-terrain vehicle based off of Matt Forte. He had the fourth-highest score among RBs in the league this week with 22.40 points.
  • Doug Baldwin has now overachieved in six straight games after scoring 20.50 points against a projected 15.48.
  • Those were the projections? We thought that was the starting point. 5 of the 9 starters on HODOR! exceeded their projected points.
  • Even with a zero from starter LeGarrette Blount, HODOR! was still able to win.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • If only we provided some kind of tool, like weekly articles, that would help HITMEN secure a victory. Oh, WAIT, we do.
  • Left Shane Vereen on the bench, where he scored 21.20 points and surpassed his scoring projection by 140.6%, the highest percentage of any player on the team.
  • HITMEN had only 4 of their 9 starters underperform versus their projections, but they still lost.
  • The Buffalo Bills Defense got a negative score this week with -2.00 points against a projected 6.20.
  • With 6.30 points versus a projected 19.07, Adrian Peterson scored only 33.0% of his projected point total.

What If

  • If HODOR! played HITMEN every week, they would be 8-6 this season.
  • HODOR! would have beaten six other teams besides HITMEN this week.
  • HODOR! would be 7-5 if they played the same schedule as HITMEN.
  • If HODOR! had played every team in the league each week, they would be 82-79.
  • HITMEN would have lost to seven other teams besides HODOR! this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as HODOR!, HITMEN would be 4-8.
  • If they played every team every week, HITMEN would be 65-89.

Game Notes

  • Looks like teams bring their A game when they see them on the schedule. Of the losses HITMEN has had, five were against opponents who topped their season scoring average that week.
  • HODOR! scored 146.55 points against a projected 108.45 and beat their scoring projection for the ninth time this season, including the last three weeks in a row.
  • A silver lining in the loss: HITMEN had their highest losing score of the season with 116.65 points.
  • What good are running backs if they are running backwards instead of forwards? The 11.80 total points by the RBs on HITMEN was their smallest RB output this season.
  • This must be how Jay Leno feels with a garage full of high-performance cars. HODOR! got a combined 70.30 points from their RBs, their highest combined scoring output from the RB position this season.
  • HODOR! has now won three games in a row.
  • With the win, HODOR! now has a 2-1 record in upset games this season.
  • HITMEN scored 116.65 points, ranking them ninth in the league in scoring.

Consolation: The Sand Snakes Devastates Legally Blonde

The Sand Snakes 147.15 vs Leagally Blonde 82.6

The Sand Snakes got 30.10 points from Sammy Watkins and 29.65 from Jameis Winston, thrashing Legally Blonde 147.15 to 82.60. The monstrous 64.55-point playoff win was the sixth-largest margin of victory for all matchups this season. This beating avenges a 121.65 to 81.40 waxing by Legally Blonde back in Week 6. To make matters worse, Legally Blonde got goose eggs from both Jonathan Stewart and Jacob Tamme.

Smooth Moves by The Sand Snakes

  • The 30.10 points scored by Sammy Watkins was the seventh-highest score by a WR in the league this week.
  • There are rumors that the military wants to model a new all-terrain vehicle based off of DeAngelo Williams. He had the seventh-highest score among RBs in the league this week with 16.60 points.
  • Those were the projections? We thought that was the starting point. 5 of the 9 starters on The Sand Snakes exceeded their projected points.
  • The 29.65 points scored by Jameis Winston outpaced his 18.74-point scoring projection by 58.2%.
  • Even with three players not playing this week, The Sand Snakes still got the win.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Fantasy Football is a mental sport. Using your brain is a great way to ensure success.
  • A heated blanket would be a great gift for Larry Fitzgerald during this cold streak. He scored below his projection in five straight games after scoring 7.30 points against a projected 19.81 this week.
  • Legally Blonde had 2 of their 9 starters score zero points.
  • It was a bad week at RB for Legally Blonde, who was outscored at the position 31.90 – 10.20 by The Sand Snakes.
  • Legally Blonde needed more points from the QB position, where The Sand Snakes beat them 29.65 – 14.10.

What If

  • If The Sand Snakes played Legally Blonde every week, they’d be 7-8 this year.
  • Besides Legally Blonde, The Sand Snakes would have defeated seven other teams this week.
  • Had they played each other last week, The Sand Snakes would have defeated Legally Blonde 117.80 – 106.10.
  • If they played the same schedule as Legally Blonde, The Sand Snakes would be 4-9.
  • The Sand Snakes would be 57-104 if they played every team every week.
  • Legally Blonde would have lost to every other team in the league this week.
  • Legally Blonde would be 5-8 if they played the same schedule as The Sand Snakes.
  • Legally Blonde would be 70-91 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Luck has not been with Legally Blonde, as six of their 10 losses have come when their opponent scores higher than their season average.
  • Legally Blonde had the league’s lowest score of the week for the second time this season.
  • The margin of victory of 64.55 points was the biggest of the season for The Sand Snakes and sixth-largest in the league this season.
  • Eat. Sleep. Beat the streak. The Sand Snakes was finally able to overcome their 12-game losing streak with the win.
  • The WRs on The Sand Snakes collectively had their best week of the season with 56.30 points.
  • The Sand Snakes had two starters score more points than the highest-scoring starter for Legally Blonde.
  • Legally Blonde is now 2-4 in blowout games, including losses in their last two such contests.
  • The Sand Snakes improves to 1-3 in blowout games this season.